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It’s not us, it’s you.

May 27, 2017

I was rejected yesterday. For something I only sort of wanted. It was disappointing, but not too much. It stung, but it didn’t bite.

My own reaction surprised me. I’ve been devastated in the past for not receiving things, e.g. jobs, I never even really wanted. This, I was able to move on from quickly. Progress.

James Altucher, my latest reading obsession, recently wrote:

Every time you get rejected you learn a little more about yourself, about how to approach people, about building strength, about getting out your comfort zone.

He’s not the first to discuss the benefits of rejection, and he won’t be the last, by any stretch. It’s become the trend. Another trend in the string of self-helpfulness blanketing our online world.

Altucher and the others saying these things, though, they are right.

It’s also about not taking things personally. This is a mental shift requiring practice.

Let’s review: Rejection is good + it’s not personal = no sweat off your back! Right?

Not exactly. Rejection can still be a learning experience.  Rejection doesn’t mean you are a shitty person, a bad friend, nor are you a failure. But if you can review it from an objective perspective, you can grow from it. Are you an asshole or did you act like one? In that case, let’s have a little introspection, shall we?

What could you have done better or differently to avoid the rejection? There’s certainly something. Maybe you weren’t bold enough or didn’t sell yourself in a targeted manner. Maybe you were off key in a singing competition. It’s not a personal attack but it’s valuable to consider your role. If nothing else, it will help you do better next time.

And there will always be a next time. It may just look completely different.



2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 1, 2017 22:15

    I really like that Altucher quote. And I totally agree – There is a balance here, right? in learning from the rejection in a way that we grow and not making it mean we are not a good/talented, etc person.


  2. June 1, 2017 22:17

    I really like the Altucher quote. And I agree – there is a balance to be struck between learning and growing from the rejection while also not making it mean you are a flawed person. Some days this balance is easier to strike than others.


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