Cry me a river

Yes, I did quote Justin Timberlake here. If you are following along, you’ll know I consider my life through song. But what I really want to talk about today is a bit more profound.

While I do agree with this, I won’t accept it blindly. Because I find that I, and most other people, first need time. Something bad or sad or crazy making or just really, really annoying happens. If it’s just annoying, then ok, get over it and yourself and move on after 5 minutes.

But sometimes things are sad. Really very sad. And we, humans, need time to grieve, to process and to FEEL it. Perhaps this is just a point on which the Stoics and I are split.

The grieving or processing time is a personal, completely subjective thing. Other people in your life may think and tell you that OK, it’s time to move on. You’ve done enough grieving, you’ve had enough time to be angry. More than enough tears have fallen. It’s not for them to decide. It is intensely personal.

Can you view yourself objectively? Can you tell when it’s gone on long enough? You may tire of it. You may be sick of all the tears. It’s time. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, adopt your stoic stance and press forward. Always forward.

And yes, there may come a time when you are unable to snap out of it on your own. When you are tired of feeling sad or sorry for yourself, but you’ve forgotten what to do. There may come a time when it feels too long even to you, but by then you are stuck and cannot lift yourself up. Then, the reminders and the pushes may help you. Ask for help. It is there for the taking.