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Discomfort 

April 13, 2017

Does my being here make you uncomfortable? 

I’ve often wanted to ask you, or him or the other guy. Or a few of the men I’ve worked with over the years. 

You may think my question odd. As a woman in a male dominated tech industry, it’s something I’ve thought quite a bit about. It’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time. And by you, I mean you and all the others. As I’m sure you can imagine, it’s a hard topic to broach. 

Sometimes, I’d assume your answer as a definite no. No, you don’t have to censor yourself around me. You wouldn’t say anything anyone would deem inappropriate. 

But then there’s who is not quite so transparent. So, to you I’d really like to pose the question: do I make you uncomfortable? 

Why? Is it purely because I’m a woman? Do you feel you have to censor yourself? Do you have to choke down the off-color joke that you probably shouldn’t be saying in front of anyone in a professional setting? Do you feel like this any time you are around women at work or only when we’re all on a business trip spending many hours and wine-filled dinners together? Hmm, let me try to remember, did you shake my hand when you said your hellos to everyone? 

I can handle a good joke. I can drop my share of f-bombs and other off-color language. I can comment about a beautiful woman, or man. I can hang. But still, I’m getting a vibe. 

Does my being here make you uncomfortable? 

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2017 08:25

    Its rather a deep thing that is being reflected by this piece of writing.

    Like

    • April 13, 2017 09:56

      Thanks for your comment @alwaysprecise It is a deep, personal thing to which I believe others can relate. Can you?

      Liked by 1 person

      • April 13, 2017 09:58

        Yes I can. In fact I have a post on something similar to this called Straightforward Note #2. Its on my blog Resolute. Please do have a look at that. Thank you.

        Like

      • April 13, 2017 10:11

        I just commented. Thanks for the conversation

        Liked by 1 person

  2. April 26, 2017 17:04

    Having switched from my last job being predominantly women to my currently one being predominantly men, I was surprised to notice the difference in how I was treated at first. I had to come out and tell my colleagues that treating me equally meant not censoring themselves and that I fully expected to be razzed just like they did to all their other (male) colleagues. Some could hear it and others just couldn’t.

    Like

    • April 26, 2017 17:47

      It’s so interesting. Razzing equally is fine, as long as there are no sexist lines crossed, in my opinion

      Like

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