Discomfort 

Does my being here make you uncomfortable? 

I’ve often wanted to ask you, or him or the other guy. Or a few of the men I’ve worked with over the years. 

You may think my question odd. As a woman in a male dominated tech industry, it’s something I’ve thought quite a bit about. It’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time. And by you, I mean you and all the others. As I’m sure you can imagine, it’s a hard topic to broach. 

Sometimes, I’d assume your answer as a definite no. No, you don’t have to censor yourself around me. You wouldn’t say anything anyone would deem inappropriate. 

But then there’s who is not quite so transparent. So, to you I’d really like to pose the question: do I make you uncomfortable? 

Why? Is it purely because I’m a woman? Do you feel you have to censor yourself? Do you have to choke down the off-color joke that you probably shouldn’t be saying in front of anyone in a professional setting? Do you feel like this any time you are around women at work or only when we’re all on a business trip spending many hours and wine-filled dinners together? Hmm, let me try to remember, did you shake my hand when you said your hellos to everyone? 

I can handle a good joke. I can drop my share of f-bombs and other off-color language. I can comment about a beautiful woman, or man. I can hang. But still, I’m getting a vibe. 

Does my being here make you uncomfortable?