Nothing better

There’s nothing better than when he grabs my finger in his warm, soft palm and holds it while he falls asleep.

There’s nothing better than when he climbs into my lap, wet from his bath and mushes into the towel and my arms. 

There’s nothing better than when I come home from work, and he leaps into my outstretched arms and hugs me tightly around my neck. 

There’s nothing better than when he clutches my hand and kisses it. 

There’s nothing better than when he says, “I love you, too, mama.”

In the moment, each is the very best one. It is circular. I appreciate each of these moments deeply. I want them never to end. And I want the next one to come soon. 

I want my space, and I want my boy around me always. I want more of these moments, and I want to have moments alone. 

But when he does any of these things, and countless others, and new things he hasn’t yet done before, I can breathe.