Love, Distance

My past lifestyle of moving around, living overseas and in a few US cities has left me with friends and family around the world. My closest friends and family are far away. I miss them. With kids, schedules and time zones, it can be hard to find time to connect by phone. These friends are also my family.

It makes me happy to hear their voices. Seeing them in person, and I’m over the moon. I feel a shift in my mood and heart. My heart feels noticeably fuller after a visit.

When a far-away friend or family member is struggling with pain, fear, illness, strife, I feel it in my bones. It hurts my heart.

It would likely feel the same if I was close by, but at least then I could offer in-person support. I could visit, bring a bottle of wine, share a cry or just lend a shoulder. From far away, I feel only powerlessness.

From far away, I have only my words, my ears, my phone calls and messages to remind them i’m here for them. I’m just not THERE for them.

I want to keep planning trips. I could spend my time hopping from city to city to share time, offer my support and love in person. Give hugs. Have fun. Life, work, money and wanting to spend my time with my family – it all interferes.

I want to create a friend/family city/state. A place where we can all live nearby enough for quick visits, giggles, shared photos and a hug, but yet we could all live our individual lives in the environments we have chosen for ourselves. It’s not real.

And so I’ll keep working to stay in touch. To share successes and support failures. At least I know they are out there and in my life. That’s most important.

With love to my dear family and friends who are suffering today. I suffer with you, even though I’m not with you.