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Not lowered expectations, changed

March 28, 2016

[Note: I just discovered the first 3 paragraphs below  in my drafts folder. I don’t know when I wrote it and can’t recall what was going on when I wrote it. Perhaps that’s for the best.] 

I have a lot of amazing friends. Around the country, around the world with such different perspectives and lives and love.

But historically, I have had a few problems with female friends. And I’m beginning to think my expectations are too high. If I lower them, I’m sure to be let down less often.

Or maybe it’s about being more realistic about the relationship. If I’m always and only the listener, then will I ever be listened to?

[And now with my March 27, 2016, perspective.] 

I’m revisiting it because I’ve nearly completed Seth Godin’s altMBA course. I’ve reiterated for myself there that I like to ask questions, learn about people and offer suggestions for their problems, if they’ll accept it. In some settings, I’m good with giving and not receiving. And in some situations I am not.

With close friends, I feel resentful if they don’t ask about me in return. It’s on me, and have to start the conversations, if I have something to share. Or I have to let them know my feelings are hurt.

We are human. Humans get so caught up in our own bullshit. We drink our own Kool-Aid and sometimes a friendly comment can change a perspective completely. Say it with love and kindness.

 

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