To Reunion or Not to Reunion? That is the question.

I've deliberated it for a few weeks now. Tonight, I decided WTF. Just frickin go. So I'll be flying to New York in October to attend my 20 year high school reunion. Seriously? I am old as dirt.

My biggest concern is that I'll be disappointed. That the friends with whom I want to make plans outside of the reunion will flake on me, and I'll feel….Hmmm. What will I feel? Neglected? Seems like an odd choice of feeling. Uncool? Nah. Just disappointed. Disappointed in friendships that I often wish were a  bigger part of my life but just aren't. 

Most people from my graduating class dispersed for college. I went to Florida. The difference with me and why I felt more separated is that my parents moved to Florida at the end of my freshman year. So while all of my long-time friends went back to Long Island to spend summers and breaks together, I began a new life in Florida, year-round.

It really changed how I developed as a person. I became more disconnected from my NY upbringing and increasingly connected with a chill, laid-back Florida and Key West lifestyle. I fell in (temporary) love with a guy who lived on a sailboat. We took in a puppy together and she walked everywhere with us off leash. I stopped shaving my legs. (NEVER stopped shaving my armpits, thank you very much.)

And my NY friends summered together, vacationed together and maintained strong friendships. Sometimes I didn''t care. Sometimes I felt a little jealous. 

My path has been good to me. But sometimes I wonder (with no regret, mind you) how different I'd be living today if I hadn't lost that NY home base.